My Journey to John of God (and beyond)

My Herbs Have Arrived

2008-03-22T16:21:00.002-06:00

Thanks to the generosity of Tyrone from Australia and his friend in California who acted as courier . . . my John of God herbs have arrived from Abadiania.

Currently Blogging Elsewhere

2008-02-18T11:57:00.004-07:00

Time moves forward.
Apparently.
Things change.
Certainly.

The Journey to John of God Blog (and beyond) is quiet now as I am in Boulder, Colorado and planning to journey back to Brazil in 2009.
My creativity, journalistic urges, therapeutic expression and narcissism have now moved to a new blog.

The life and times of Mercury Roberts (Robert Mercury to many) are now being self-chronicled at:
Meditate and Eat Your Vegetables

Two Months Home From Brazil

2008-02-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

Starting to slip into some winter blues.
Sent a package to Brazil today and it felt good to be connected.

Starting to plan the return trip.

One week back from Brazil

2007-12-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

It feels like I'm visiting the United States until I return to Brazil.

It is great living with my daughter, her brother and older sister who just moved from Dallas, Texas, her mom and their new RottweilerMix puppy.

Going to yoga, giving bodywork, exploring opportunities, finalizing my insurance demand, going to more yoga and missing Abadinaia.

Looking Back

2007-11-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

Now that I have been back in the United States for over 48 hours . . .

The things that I remember most about my almost four months in Brasil:

~ Slowing down.
~ Getting more quiet.
~ Going inside more.

~ Heaps of growth. Sensitivity to energy. Emotional release. Self-discovery - releasing denial and coming to see myself more clearly, honestly, directly.

~ Taking care of the basics . . . prayer and meditation, exercise, being of service, sun and water on my skin, time and laughter with friends, being with animals and children, letting go faster and eating simple solid colorful whole food.

~ Kneeling down, taking the Entities hand and looking into the eyes of the Entity fourteen times in the fifteen weeks I was in Brazil. Getting permission and protection, getting connection direction and acceptance, getting acknowledgment and love.

~ Sitting in 69 session currents and meditating, praying, concentrating, breathing, intending and visualizing.

~ Not driving, watching TV or using my cell phone.

~ Going to the sacred waterfall over 70 times and using the triangle to connect and to let go.

~ Fabulous meals at Cafe Central (the burger special), Tribo in Brasilia, Luz Divina, VagaFogo, Bon Appetit, Frutti's, The PizzaPlace (Cafe Sao Joao) and Pousada Irmao Sol.

~ Incredible people. Humble, Creative, Willing, Open, Sensitive, Fun, Loving and Crazy.

~ Did I mention slowing down?

~ Being helpful, defending against attack, being tolerant, managing my energy and living in community.

~ Spending time in nature. Seven wonderful trips to Vaga Fogo. Two trips to the waterfalls at Salto Corumba. Seven trips to Amila's land and Fazenda Barreiro (see Om Shanti in the links).

~ Flying over the handlebars of my bicycle in front of Frutti's on my way to my first appointment with Emilio . . . cracking a rib and a bone in my left hand when I landed . . . getting an Edgar Cayce osteopathic treatment and unraveling of the trauma five weeks later in the van on the way to Brasilia.

~ Bicycling to the farm and cachoeiras of Rogerio, the Brazilian Huck Finn, with him and Keenya.

~ Giving lots of massages to my friends. Being present and quiet with them. Connecting to the Entities. Being a part of the healing.

~ And did I mention that I met some wonderful human beings? Aine, Beth from Sun Valley, Vishnu, Robert Beno, Leandro, Alison, Susan & Bobby Love, Belinda, Nick, Dave from BrightonEngland, Nurit, Julie, Dica, Preta, Concesau, Vitor, Tracy-Mike-Tessa-Tyler Wilkinson, Gemma, Peter and Beryl, Monica from Montreal, Rebecca, Sontash, Patricia from Scotland, Shannon, Gary Walker, Kristjan, Egle, Elizabeth, Reini, Victoria, William, Lauren, Olivia, Eleuza, Evandro, Catarina, James and Jeff from NYC, Keenya and Narayani, Beatrix, Irena, Sarah, Henri & Bianca, Alvoro & Vanessa, Catarina Pelegrino, Reverend Patti, Crescent, Gita, Daniel Prates, Angie from San Diego, Shelly, Gary Walker, Naomi, Art, Fred, Vee and IanMilan, Greg NZ, Frank, Michael from Australia, Trenka, Michael from California, Peyla, Brooke, Tanya and Horacio, Jennifer, Emma Bragdon, Pablo Prates, Paulo, Salito, Ron, Bondi, Danni, Maha Dev, Maree Duffy, Maria Crane, Johannes, Elin, Zeynep & Yann, Amila & Leila, Aria & Jeff, Grainne & Joao, Lucia and Ricardo, Rick and MerriLu, MeriLee, Allesandra and Ultan, Theo, Masha & Ryan, Elle from Greece, Lily and Mara, Martin, "Expect Success" Martin, Andy, Cashambra, Martin Mosquera, The gang at Frutti's: Lucas, Julianna, Elione, Lisiandra, Keyla, Martia, Luciano and Romolo, Greg from California, Ned, Cynthia, Phoebe, Sean, Emilio, Marilina, Janice, Will Johnston, Aidan and Jonny, Tyrone, Anjelica, Radan and Vida, Ida, Una and her 90 minute haircut, Su from New Zealand, Susie Sao Paulo, Gina, Gina from Virginia, Lynn and Fabio, Luba, Osney, Sean, Peter Waugh, Renaldo, and, of course, The Casa: Joao, Hamilton, Ricardo, Reginaldo, Jack, Arturo, Chico Lobo, Diego, Antao, Mario, Ricardo "Uma fila mas", Heather, Sebastian, Marissa and the Professor.

It Is As It Is

2007-11-30T05:40:00.001-07:00

Back in Boulder

2007-11-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

I have arrived back to Boulder, Colorado after 34 hours of traveling.

Monday
. . . after a lovely day at Vaga Fogo being with Beth, Theo, Dave, Su, Phoebe and Evandro . . . I spend the last night in Abadiania preparing to go . . . Daniel Prates came by first to get the prepaid cell phone to use next until Vishnu's return in February. MerriLu and Rick dropped by to pick up their Arabic cheese from the farm and to take care of my beloved blue bike until I return. Then Henri and Bianca came by to say good-bye and to get my massage table for nine months of use and safe keeping.
Reini came over for a farewell and I gave him my Bronner's Liquid Aminos.
Beth, Sue and Phoebe also dropped by for a slide show and some tears.

I love living in living community.

Tuesday
I put my under funded get away into the triangle at the Casa and fully expect a miraclous day.
I thoroughly enjoy my final fabulous breakfast (veggie and cheese omellette, oatmeal, papaya and coffee) at Luz Divina with Dave Sherman.
Time spent finishing packing.
More good-byes (Dica, Eleuza, William, Lily and Mara, Preta, Trenka, Sara, Anjelika) . . . paying my tabs at Frutti's, Ribeiro and Elements . . .

Leandro picks me up at home on credit because I don't have the money to pay him for the $75 ride to the airport in Brasilia. After two hours dealing with my artificially induced visa problem with the Federal Police, Tam waives my ticket change fee and upgrades my international flight to Miami to Business Class.

Wednesday
After arriving fresh in Denver, I wait for a few hours for my daughter to pick me up after her basketball practice. When I find out she is sick, I start calling friends because I don't have the money for the bus. Someone suggests I try traveler's aid . . . and on the way over I run into my friend April who is on her way to Boulder with room for one more . . .

I love and appreciate the triangle at the Casa.
I truly love and appreciate the Entities of the Casa de Dom Inacio.

Words are Energy

2007-11-12T04:28:00.001-07:00

One of many, many learnings of this year's JourneyToJohnOfGod has been an increased conscious awareness of the power of my word.

As Don Miguel Ruiz says in The Four Agreements . . .

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I have had any negative words that I have spoken or words that had been shared in confidence with me that I spoke to others come back to me and come back to me so quickly here that I could not deny the effect they were having.

When I begin to speak negatively about someone who isn't present it feels painful . . . as if I'm putting a curse on them and they don't know it.
And I don't want people doing that to me.
So I stop.
(More of the time)

Sometimes, when I'm in the presence of people who begin to gossip and speak negatively, I tell them that it doesn't fell good to me and I would prefer that they didn't . . .

Baby steps.

When I speak or write, I use the vehicles of words to carry meaning, as well as energy, from me to other people. I may be writing a love letter, a work-related memo, or an entry in my blog. Whatever the case, each word I speak or write has a life of its own, a vibratory signature that creates waves in the same way that a note of music creates waves. And like musical notes, my words live in communities of other words and change in relation to the words that surround them. When I am conscious of the energy behind my words, I become capable of making beautiful music in the world. I don't want to create disturbance or distraction.

I try to continually remind myself that my words have an impact on the world at the level of energy and to be more conscious, more sensitive.

A fun way that I increase my sensitivity to the power of my words is by making a list of my favorite words and then noticing the energy they contain. This is like learning to consciously play an instrument that we have been playing unconsciously for most of our lives, and the effect can be startling and delightful. I am growing more comfortable and confident playing the instrument of language . . . Here's to more beautiful messages, creating positive energy every time I write or speak.

Off the top of my head:

My favorite words in English: love, aloha, inpiration, serotonin, cinnamon, organic, coconut, psychoparabolic, avocado, xiphoid process, rendezvous, pistachio, mitochondria, super, visceral, paradigm, hallucination, dopamine, popcorn, hoax, and tutti frutti.

My favorite words in Portuguese are: acabou (it's over), chakara (smal farm house), faca (knife - "give me the faca"), sempre sohindo (always smiling), xi-xi (pronounced "she-she" . . . means 'to pee'), propoganda (advertising), por du sol (sunset), tranquilo (relaxed) and my personal favorite beija-flor (literally: kisses the flower . . . English: hummingbird).

Life is Good When You Have Friends

2007-11-08T00:50:00.001-07:00

Peter Pan and TinkerBell at Soup.

A Matter of Priorities

2007-11-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Letting Go of the Small Stuff

from Dailyom.com

We experience numerous disappointments each and every day. Our expectations go unmet, our plans are blocked by circumstance, our wishes go unfulfilled, and we discover that our lives are subject to a myriad of forces beyond our conscious control. In some cases, our response is powerful because we must invest ourselves and our resources to overcome genuine hardship. In others, our reactions are far more passionate than our circumstances likely warrant. The tension that permeates our bodies and minds when we are late for an event, interrupted at work, or sitting in traffic is not inappropriate, but it can interfere with our well-being in profound ways. When we stop worrying about relatively unimportant matters, we can be at peace and devote so much more of ourselves to what is truly important.

The small frustrations and irritations wield such power over us because they rob us of the illusion of control. But every problem is a potential teacher—a confusing situation is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, and difficult people provide us with opportunities to display compassion. There is a natural human tendency to invest copious amounts of emotional energy in minor dilemmas and frustrations in order to avoid confronting those more complex issues that are largely outside the realm of our control. The intensity of our response provides us with a temporary sense of personal power that helps us cope with challenges that might otherwise overwhelm us. But it is only when we let the little stuff go that we discover that the big stuff is not really so devastating after all.

In the stress of a singularly tense incident, differentiating between an inconsequential annoyance and a legitimate challenge can seem a monumental task. Ask yourself whether the emotions you are feeling will be as vivid in a year, a day, or even an hour. As focused as you are on this moment in time, your reward for letting go of your emotional investment may be the very happiness and harmony of being whose loss you are lamenting. Needless aggravation is seldom worth the cost it exacts. You cannot distance yourself from life's inconsistencies, irritations, and upheavals, but you can relinquish your desire for perfect order and gain peace of mind in the process.

John of God in New York - October 1-4, 2007

2007-11-03T14:55:00.001-06:00


	John of God was received with admiration, love, and immense gratitude during his 4 day stay at the Omega Institute, in Rhinebeck NY. The campus was a sea of white as approximately 1200 people gathered each day to see this amazing medium and the loving and compassionate Entities. Heather Cumming, Medium João's dear friend and Liaison for his healing tours in North America, translated for this event. Skip Backus, Executive Director of the Omega Institute and Carol Donahoe, Omega's Program Director, did a beautiful job organizing every detail of this inspiring event. One could tangibly sense the growing anticipation and excitement as people arrived. People gathered with hope, belief in miracles, and open hearts to experience the infinite transformations this experience could bring into their lives. Each person followed a white chrysanthemum-lined walkway into an enormous white tent. This Main Tent was the gathering place where people began their sessions as Heather, Noberto Krug, Rosa Machado, Diana Rose and Bob Dinga offered the opening prayers from the stage. Medium João arrived each morning to address the crowd. Looking out into the eyes of everyone gathered there, one could visibly see the awe and respect people felt for this man who lovingly shared his appreciation at having this opportunity to be there with them. Medium João was then led to the Entity's room in a building adjacent to the Main Tent where he incorporated and began seeing people as he sat in his chair. There was a large reproduction of Sirlei Lerner's altar painting of Dom Inácio, Jesus, and Mary that hangs above The Entity's chair at the Casa. Reproductions of King Solomon, Dr. Augusto, Dr. Oswaldo Cruz and St. Rita of Cascia adorned white linen curtains which served as partitions for each of the rooms: The Mediums' Room (first current room), The Entity's Room (second current room) where John of God in Entity sat and received each person; The Divine Intervention and Blessing Room; The Infirmary. It was a beautiful arrangement. The first session lasted five hours. The other sessions were each approximately three hours long. The 1200 people seated in the Main Tent were dressed in white and were very honoring of the process. Noberto Krug, Medium Joao's close friend from Brazil, addressed the crowd, sharing loving messages as Rosa Machado translated for him. Rosa shared her amazing experience of being healed from cancer at the Casa. Bob Dinga assisted Skip with organizing the lines of people to see John of God in Entity. Diana Rose and Bob Dinga held a short orientation before each session. Diana and Rosa led the crowd in meditation, prayers, and guided visualizations as people waited for their line to be called. You could have heard a pin drop were it not for the grass floor; the there was a profound silence as people allowed themselves to go deep in these meditations. Emma Bragdon, Peter Waugh, Gary Walker, Josie RavenWing, Thom Levy, and Rosa Haritos led the Current Rooms, Divine Intervention/Blessing Room and The Infirmary, supported by Casa mediums that volunteered to build and hold the current in each room. Diego Coppola and Peter helped with debriefings after the Divine Interventions. Ana, Medium João's wife accompanied him at the event. Dorothy Cooke sat in service, to the left of John of God just as she does at the Casa. Martin Mosquera, Medium João's close friend from the Casa, helped Heather with translations. Dr. Jose Valdivino, Dr. Augusto de Almeida, and Jose Penteado were the three recognizable Entities João incorporated during the event. The energies were very strong and every person who waited to see John of God was seen. There were as many as 800 Divine Interventions done at a session. Although participants were asked not to take photographs, Karen Leffler, professional photographer and co-author (along with Heather Cumming) of a new book called "John of God, the Brazilian Healer Who's Touched the Lives of Millions" was asked by Medium João to photograph the event. (see photo gallery) The Omega campus is a serenely beautiful 80 acres of tranquility. It was brilliantly colorful with the autumn leaves in shades of red, orange and gold. The gardens were abundantly filled with flowers of every color and kind. 400 attendees enjoyed on-campus accommodations in cabins and dorms. Some people camped by Omega's pristine lake. This was the largest event ever held at the Omega campus and the staff was available and attentive to their many guests. The blessed soup was available at lunch every day and all meals were extremely healthy and delicious. Omega provided the perfect site for this visit. Medium Joao was happy and appreciative of his warm welcome in the USA. (This article was submitted by Diana Rose and Rosa Haritos)

For more information go to www.friendsofthecasa.org.

The Challenge for the Enneatype Nine (me)

2007-11-02T19:05:00.000-06:00

. . . is often dealing with anger and facing conflict.
When I'm able to do this then I don't waste time.

I'm prone to sloth and indolence when I'm stuffing lots of anger.
Then I can turn down the temperature even more with a good bout of depression.

It has been over 18 months since I started the distant healing herbs with the Entities.
It has been 18 months since I went off anti-depressant medication.
It has been 18 months since I was depressed.

Definitely a connection.

And spending more time closer to the equator hasn't hurt.

The Day of the Dead in Brazil

2007-11-01T11:36:00.001-06:00

Some of the fun people at Pousada Caminho Encantado.

Chopping vegetables for the soup at the Casa with Patricia, Rick and MerriLu.

Egos have Preferences

2007-11-01T11:12:00.000-06:00

And so does mine.
I do not feel that "failure or success" need be pegged onto the
expression of a personal preference or observation or a personal choice.

I don't even believe in failure or success anymore . . .
just learning more and letting go more.

From where ever I am right now.

I have put myself in a fairly public position here in Abadiania the past
two and a half months and people have projected their preferences on me.
I have led group tours and guided people here at the Casa.

"I like this."
"I appreciate that."
"I'm disappointed by that."

So preferences and their expression seem to be
part of the culture here.

I often express mine.
And that's all it is.
My preference. My opinion.

Nothing to defend.

And so, after all these years, after all the countless books, lectures, learning, unlearning, solving, resolving, and absolving . . .
the monies spent for workshops, books, satsangs, therapy, gurus and trips around the world, the knick knacks acquired, the practices, the austerities, the overindulgences, the depression and the near-suicidal tendencies, I'm back today to square one again today: Preferences.
With or without adding insult to injuries.
Past, Present or Future.

And now I can let go of that.

Heaven and/or Hell are both just a thought away . . .

The Message of the Casa

2007-10-31T02:20:00.001-06:00

With Arturo, Antao & Chico Lobo at the Casa
The message of the Casa de Dom Inacio is a nonverbal one for me. It is a message that I missed the first few weeks I was here last year.
My focus initially was on figuring out what to do and where to go.
Then I started to feel the Love and the Healing and tremendous Service and Surrender and Forgiveness and Cleansing and Letting Go and Joy that permeate this place.

All of these are wonderful.
All of these are possible.
All of these are here and part of the Casa experience.

Yet the Primary message for me is evident the first time you walk up to the medium's chair and have contact with an Entity.

"We are eternal."

Your healing is being directed and supported by a supposedly dead person.

If this is true for you (and it is for me), everything changes.

We must not die.

My focus on the problems of my small and relatively short life then shifts to . . .

Here I am Alive in this moment.

Wow.

This is amazing.
What can I do to show my gratitude?
What can I do to help?

Everything changes.
Everything is different.

Frisbee Golf in Brasil

2007-10-30T14:02:00.000-06:00

Close up of the second hole and Roberto putting on the third hole.

This week I had the treat of playing disc golf with Greg from California on the course he is building near the chácara and farm he is caretaking.
Greg has a dream of building disc golf courses here in Brasil, turning kids onto the simple and affordable game and someday bringing the PDGA world championships to Central Brasil.

Being out there on a beautiful late spring/early summer day was unique and fun.

Greg has one official pole hole for the ninth hole but the other 8 holes are cow skulls hanging from trees with bamboo shoots beneath them.

My first round was also exciting as Greg talked about small poisonous viper snakes and scorpions and his plan to get a cow or a goat to trim the fairways.
(I lost a disc in the tall grass)

Dis-illusioning More Illusions

2007-10-29T00:55:00.000-06:00

Thanks mom, I love acai pudding.

One of the many reasons coming to the Casa is so healing and re-juvenating
for me is that the illusion of time is not as strong here.
So much happens in a day - and the day can go by slowly.
Nothing happens in a day - and the day goes by quickly.

I can't believe it is Monday again already and last Monday seems so long ago.

'Living in Time' is an unconscious state in which my attention is primarily focused on my past and on the future I have projected for myself.
In this state, the distance between my thoughts, words and deeds and their inevitable physical, mental and emotional consequences is just long enough for me to be able to convince myself that I am not the cause of most of my present life experiences.

People become victims because they cannot clearly see the connection between cause and effect.
I become a victim when I cannot clearly see the connection between cause and effect.

Here in Abadiania, people get more into the present moment and that is where health and healing live.

There are more present moments here for me.

There is less of the illusion of time.

Hurry Up and Wait

2007-10-19T06:52:00.000-06:00

One of the healing aspects of being in Abadiania.
Of being in Brazil.
Of being in South America.
Of being in the third world.

. . . is that life operates at a more sustainable pace.

Being present in the moment, being with the people you are with . . . is most often more important than "getting things done", more important than "going places and doing things".

"Waiting" or just being is a very natural way of life.

A friend from Austria told me a great story about waiting for a bus here.
The busses through Abadiania from Goais and Brasilia supposedly leave every hour.

She got to the "bus station" to go to Brasilia and waited.
30 minutes went by.
60 minutes went by.
90 minutes went by.

She and her husband began to get fidgety.
There were Brazilians waiting when they got there and they were still unaffected.
More Brazilians gathered and no one was acting as if anything was wrong.

2 hours went by.

How could this be? We have many things to do other than to sit here waiting.
Waiting for a bus that we don't even know is coming.

More time went by.
Brazilians continued to wait as if waiting is the most natural thing in the world.

Then the bus came.

Letting Go of What I Think Healing Should Look Like

2007-10-12T22:48:00.000-06:00

Greetings from the BrazilianBubble in Abadiania.

I don't know if it is my own personal process but life has been challenging lately.

Lots of physical pain doesn't help.
I flew over the handlebars of my bicycle two weeks ago today. The front wheel jammed when my bag fell into it and I went flying head over heels onto the pavement in front of Frutti's.
I broke a carpal bone on the side of my left hand and cracked a rib that day and the pain has been increasing.
* the rib was cracked, interestingly enough, right in front of my heart *

I had been listening to feedback from lots of friends and acquaintances that I would benefit from slowing down -
Be careful what you ask for . . .

Maybe I'm processing some planetary intensity or just on an intense astrological ride -
(MercuryRetrograde in Scorpio or Mars moving into Cancer) but, whatever it is, I'm knackered.

Speaking of Astrology, Melody Zindell in Boulder, wrote in her newsletter last month at www.depth-astrology.com
"The Mutable Grand Cross we have been under has had a tendency to bring a lot of jittery and accident prone energy, especially with Mars in Gemini opposing Pluto in Sagittarius at 26 degrees on September 21-22, less than a degree from the Galactic Center. This along with the strong Virgo / Pisces theme of the eclipses and various transits to Uranus has made this month one of significant shifts and changes, many to further unfold and develop during the next six months. As we feel these powerful impulses, any blocks or unconsciousness will be met with a certain amount of edginess and volatility with Mars involved, so continue to drive carefully, speak gently, and try to stay grounded, breathing deeply through your feet! "

. . . My bike crash was on September 28th . . .

Even the Medium Joao is going through it. He got back from the States on Tuesday and did not show up at the Casa yesterday or today (Thursday) and the the doctors have told him to take tomorrow off, too.

Abadiania is a mixture of disappointment, shock, taking it in strideness and some relief.
"This is just not good enough," said a couple of Americans today.

Being here in Abadiania for 3 months really takes the pressure and intensity off "getting what I need" and having my healing here at the Casa look a certain way.

Other folks, who are leaving this week or next, are not so happy about his absence.
They do not yet realize that A) The LovingSpirits, The HealingServingEntities are the ones who do the amazing healing work here and they are always here, they are always anywhere and just a prayer away and B) That everything is perfect and that impatience and disappointment are what they need to experience now.

It is as it is.

Last night at The Pizza Place a foreign gent asked me if I was upset that John of God wasn't here this week.

I told him "No, I'm not upset.
At all.
I am sending João, the man, all the good thoughts."

"I'm tired from going to VagaFogo near Pirinopilis (about 50 km away) yesterday with my regular Tuesday group . . . I can only imagine how he feels after traveling thousands of kilometers, seeing over 6000 people at the Omega Institute in upstate New York in four days and then flying back to Brasil . . . plus, no matter how much the Entities encourage him to improve his diet, João Texeira de Faria, like many of us, turns to food - unhealthy "comfort" foods, under stress. I hope his absence is only exhaustion and not a more serious health matter. I had the experience of being here at the Casa last week when João the Medium was in North America. The currents here last week at the Casa, my spiritual process and my connection to these Entities was just as strong - if not stronger - than when the Medium is here and 'in the chair'. I'm not in the least upset that he wasn't here today. How were your currents?"

He didn't believe me.

"Do you realize how much I have sacrificed, how much energy it took, how much it cost me to come to Brazil to see John of God?"

"Coming here is a big deal for everyone. Many very sick people borrow money to come here to have a chance at their healing.
I understand your disappointment.
I encourage you to write a "Letter to God" admitting where you are and asking for everything you want - everything - and putting it into the triangle tomorrow."

"Let me know if you begin to get or move toward what you want, what you came here for."

"The portal between dimensions here is more open than most places on the planet.
I am constantly amazed at how fast I get what I want here when I ask."

"Slowing down and being quiet also really seem to help, I added."

"See you at soup tomorrow."

Oh, this is "slowing down".

2007-10-10T18:22:00.000-06:00

Two massages in the two weeks since my bicycle accident. My hand and my rib actually feel worse each day as time goes by.

Doing less.

Being more.

Trusting more.

Robert Goes to Anapolis

2007-10-08T17:43:00.000-06:00

After 16 weeks of being in Abadiania over the past two years, I finally ventured out to the booming nearby metropolis of Anapolis.

There is talk here in Abadiania of a protective "Spiritual Bubble" over this place.
It is palpable.
You feel separate from the regular world.

People say the strong bubble extends out Avenue Frontal to Cafe Central.
The bubble can be felt all the way out to the main highway.

Each person experiences it differently.

And the more serious your physical and spiritual healing the more you benefit from the protection and support of "The Bubble".

As I drive to Brasilia I can often feel a point where I know "I'm not in Abadiania anymore."

Yesterday . . . being tired and hungry in the midst of 300,000 Brazilians . . . I was officially "out of the bubble".

When I go to VagaFogo near Pirinopolis I am in nature, when I go to Brasilia I visit churches and cathedrals and temples.

They don't feel as far "out of the bubble" to me as I felt yesterday in Anapolis.

I shopped, ate, shopped some more, appreciated my driver Leandro, watched the Brazilian girls and was overwhelmed by the traffic and the noise and the exhaust.
I won't be going again soon.
I didn't like it.

But that's just my opinion.
I could be wrong.

Healing the Masculine in Brasil

2007-10-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

I am engaged in a process here in Brasil of healing my personal masculine by:

1) Committment
* To my Spiritual Practice in a deeper way.
Besides sitting in as many currents as possible each week, I am doing The Presence Process daily.

* To my Physical Recovery from Sugar Addiction.
Working the seven steps of Radiant Recovery.

2) Working.
The entity Dr. Augusto de Almeida, one of the most regular Entities at the Casa, made me a "Filho de Casa", a Son of the House, two weeks ago. He also told me he would help me bring people to the Casa from the United States. Dr. Augusto is reported to have been in the military, a rubber tapper, and a doctor in previous incarnations. When Dr. Augusto incorporates Joao, he is recognized by his authoritative behavior and strong personality. He is known to be kind and loved by all. I have begun to get my feet wet as a guide by leading weekly journeys to the nature preserve VagaFogo.
The entities have also - again - given me permission to do massage here in Abadiania. Last year I was able to charge, this year the entity Francisco Xavier told me to not charge. Either way, it feels powerful to connect with and serve people with touch.

2) Living Alone and Caring for My Home.
I have had the honor and the pleasure of living in the Casa de Dom Vishnu. It is a lovely home owned by an American man who is also a Filho de Casa. I have been here for 6 weeks and will enjoy four more before the owner's return in early November. Vishnu first came to Abadiania four years ago when Ram Das asked him to come with him and push his wheel chair. I can be quite social at times so I love the solitude of coming home and being alone, being quiet. The house is lovely, spacious, quiet and has a fantastic western view of the sunset each evening from the second story porch.

3) Meeting other powerful men who are healing their masculine.

4) Getting engaged and excited about American Sports.
* The unprecedented 17 wins in 18 games march to the NLCS by the Colorado Rockies.
* The undefeated 5-0 start of the Missouri Tigers.
* The Colorado Buffaloes upset win over the then #4 ranked Oklahoma Sooners.
* The unprecedented choke by the Mets down the stretch in the NL East.
* . . . and, of course, I always enjoy another year of frustration for the Chicago Cubs (100 years and counting now since they last won a World Series).

5) Getting my balls back from my X Adrienne.

Who is reading this?

2007-10-05T01:55:00.000-06:00

As this blog has passed it's one year anniversary, I would like to get an idea of who is reading this now. My intention here is to share the experience of my spiritual path -- before, during and after my visits with the Entities of the Casa de Dom Inacio. And also, hopefully, to inspire others to use the support that these Entities are offering.
I recently received an inspiring "comment" after my September 30th post . . .
click here
If you are out there in internet land and you are reading this, please leave a comment after this post and tell me who and where you are . . . or you can e-mail me directly at robert.mercury@gmail.com

Life in Abadiania without the Medium

2007-10-04T20:57:00.000-06:00

The Colorado Rockies are on the brink of advancing to the NLCS. I have four more weeks to live in Vishnu's house (he returns from 'The States' on November 5) and I am really settling in . . . really enjoying the space and the solitude. The trip to the Sanctuario de Vida Silvestre VagoFogo near Pirenopolis for next week is coming together . . . I have 10 deposits and there are 14 seats in Luciano's Van. Stanislav is going to play the violin after lunch terça-feira seguinte.
This will be my eighth trip to Evandro Engel Ayer, Uirá Ayer and Catarina Schiffer's lovely and impressive home. I made my first three visits there as an assistant with Adrienne's groups and this will be my fifth time taking people there myself as a guide. People enjoy the nature, the hospitality, the stories of Evandro and . . . people really enjoy Uirá's cooking . . .

Third World Adhesives

2007-10-04T09:15:00.000-06:00

One of the unique aspects of Brasil (besides never getting to flush your toilet paper in the toilet) is that the price tag adhesives work too well.

Too adhesive.

Much too sticky.

Very difficult to remove.

And this frustrates the OCD part of my brain.

(Now, I am in no way making light here of mental illness. – I believe we all land somewhere along a continuum of most of the DSM-IV labels . . . My old girlfriend Adrienne would tell you that my diagnosis is quite a bit more serious than just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . . . )

Anyhow, one of the ways that I express (or repress) my unfelt emotional energy is by rinsing the sides and drinking the contents of the blender after making my morning smoothie . . .
another way I indirectly express emotional energy is by removing all price tags and other stickers . . . completely.
And this is tougher to do in Brasil than America . . . actually, technically, I am still in America here in Brasil . . . let me say North America . . . or, even more specifically, than the United States of America.

-- Pardon my American Public Schools Geography --

Note to Self: Next time I come to Brasil, bring my travel bottle of GooGone.

An Accident?

2007-09-29T00:31:00.000-06:00

I don't have an internet connection at my house so sometimes there is a delay in posting my blog entries.
And things happen so fast.
And things change so quickly.

I try to go to Frutti's of one of the Pousadas (hotels) every day to stay connected but . . .

Today I had a bicycle accident.
My bike was in the shop (getting new wheels, brakes and a new blue paint job for $26) so I was riding my landlord's bike that doesn't have a basket.
I was not rushing and I had my little brown brazil bag (notebook, pen, water, money, keys, camera, stevia, etc.) in my hand holding the handlebars.

My friend calls it my male purse or Murse.
What ever you call it, I dropped it into the frontwheel, it jammed the bike to a stop, and I didn't.
I flew over the handlebars and somersaulted onto the paved street.

Ouch.

I was on my way this morning to a chiropractic appointment with Emilio, the Casa chiropractor.
He checked my points of impact (hand/wrist, knee, foot/toes) told me nothing was broken and held points to reduce my inflammation.
Thanks to my friend Sara Pearl in Boulder, I have homeopathic arnica for my bruised body as part of my first aid kit. And I brought along some RescueRemedy and Traumeel, as well.

So, I have canceled all of my massages for the week while I mend and begin to slow down . . .

. . . and turn more inward and Trust.

Getting Away from Getting Away

2007-09-19T14:26:00.001-06:00

Where to start?

How about my surgery? I had an invisible psychic surgery with Francisco Xavier on Thursday afternoon on the ringing in my ears.

And the tinnitus has changed . . . significantly.
The pitch, the note of the ringing is different, it is much lower.
And the volume is way down!

My ears are still feeling the psychic intervention, like an energetic warmth, and I still have a headache between my ears.

There was a period on Friday, for about two hours, of NO RINGING.
I think that was a gift of the possibility to help me keep the faith.

It also feels like other things (my heart, my skin) were operated on.
Hopefully, I got one of the famous 'ego over-identification and reduction' surgeries.
I have been very tired for six days - many naps - and very deeplong nightsleeps.

I wish I could have taken a qualitative hearing test before and after the surgery to see if my hearing has improved.
Since I am making it up anyway (my interpretation of my life - my interpretation of this operation) . . .

I will make it up good.
I intend that my hearing is improved.

I have had the ringing for almost two years since I was on the anti-depressant Wellbutrin. (I'm also flashing back to the memory of dancing right next to a 30 foot speaker at a GratefulDead concert for three hours plus . . . at the RedRocks amphitheater in the foothills of the Colorado Rocky Mtns. in 1988 . . . on acid).
My medical intuition tells me that that may have had a deleterious impact on the sensitive nerves of my inner ear.

Any way, my brain feels like something has happened.
And it is good.
Instead of always knowing that it is there, now I have to stop and listen for it to find it.

Part of my post-op recovery from my surgery was the first night of the annual Abadiania Rodeo (in Portuguese rodeo is pronounced ho-de-o, the "r" is soft . . . so my name is pronounced Ha-bert, the money here is pronounced hey-ais, a popular american movie starring Sylvester Stallone is pronounced Ham-bo, and a popular form of american music is pronounced Hock & Holl).

I took a taxi home from my surgery at the Casa on Thursday and fell right to sleep.
I slept until 7PM when my friend Tyrone from Sydney brought me dinner.
Then I was up until 2AM listening to the Band and the announcer on the microphone at the Annual Explosion of Noise.
. . . like it was right in my bedroom!

Crazy Brazilians . . .
I live only a quarter mile from the rodeo grounds across an open field and Brazilians like their sound LOUD.

Very LOUD.

Different cultural norm.

Different sensory sensitivity.

But it didn't bother me, I fell asleep right when the party ended, and my ears and my hearing feels much better now.

Because the Hodeo goes on for four nights, I got out of town.
I spent Saturday and Sunday at a friend's farm about 16k outside Abadiania.
Amila and his 10 year old daughter Leila own Facenda Barreira here on the Corumba (Co-rum-ba) river.

It is great here.
Very quiet.
10 acres, 7 cows, 3 horses.
A ripe jabuticaba tree with tons of fruit.
No cell phone, no car, no TV, no Wi-Fi.

Just Robert and his soul and the stars and the river (and his laptop).

I love the experience of "getting away" from a trip where I am "getting away" from my normal life.
I love "getting away" from taking the illusion too seriously.
Getting away from over identification with my ego and self-image.
Getting away from my unecessary stress and tension.
Getting away fom my old "drivers" like trying to be perfect and trying to be liked.
'Getting away' and 'getting toward' my essential, authentic, down to earth self.

In The Nature, In The Moment

2007-09-10T18:58:00.001-06:00

Being at VagoFogo Nature Sanctuary, being more present - more alive.

Sunday of Brazilian Independence Day Weekend

2007-09-09T13:28:00.000-06:00

September 7th is the Brazilian Independence Day from Portugal and Brazilians have been celebrating all weekend.
I have been giving massages, going to the sacred waterfall, meeting interesting people and letting go.

The More Things Change, The More Things Change

2007-09-08T20:32:00.000-06:00

I have the privledge and the honor to escort a group of 15 people here without guides to the VagoFogo nature sanctuary on Monday.
I love that place.
Located about 60 kilometers from Abadiania, it has a river running through an old growth forest, fantastic hosts (Catarina on the left) and a wonderful brunch with unpasteurized whipped cream for waffles and coffee.

The entities have approved my being here for the next seven weeks and have approved me doing my bodywork here.
This is a huge honor as very few westerners get permission to do massage in this small town. But, in the Spiritist tradition, I cannot charge.
Today I did three sessions and visited some amazing land owned by a man who wants to start a conscious community.

After a Period of Relative Quiet

2007-09-07T14:38:00.000-06:00

I'm alive.
Life is good.

Stay tuned.
More from me soon.

If You Want To Live

2007-08-25T16:32:00.000-06:00

It has been an amazing and full first two weeks in Brazil. Too full, in fact, to blog much yet.
Today I had the wonderful opportunity to escort the majority of the John of God healing group to Brasilia.
We had a lovely lunch at the Tribo native restaurant before going to the airport for the departing flights.
(plus throw in the cultural experience of discovering the existence of libido enhancing wine at the Brazilian gas station on the way.)

Time now for a big exhale and some well done potatoes at Cafe Central.
Tomorrow I will go to the Casa Sunday Service, pick up my laundry, go to the waterfall with Mike and his son Tyler and then move into my new house.

Thinking back on the two week group experience one quote really stands out to me.
One day at lunch, I asked the man who is recovering from stage four brain cancer if it was hard for him to give up alcohol and sugar.
He said, "nothing is hard to do if you want to live."

The Untrue is Seen and Busted

2007-08-16T19:39:00.000-06:00

The entitled, unboundaried Gemini shadow part of Robert got caught today taking what wasn't his without asking.
And I'm ashamed and humbled . . . because it wasn't the first time and I want to be honest, I want to come clean and I want to change.

Casa Day #1 2007

2007-08-15T18:32:00.000-06:00

A fantastic tapestry of beneficial, healing connections.
A day of healing moments plus a hundred personally witnessed smiles.

The JohnofGod-Healing.com August 2007 group spent their first day at the Casa and met the entities for the first time.

The group of sixteen is fantastic.
Serendipitously gathered from six countries (Australia, England, Ireland, Columbia, America and Serbia) we have children under ten and adults over sixty (and every age demographic in between). Eight women and six men. One boy and one girl (a twin brother and sister) . . . who have all come together and come all the way to central Brazil for one reason . . . Spiritual and Physical Healing.
All called to the Casa in one way or another.

Memories of the day:
1) The seven year old girl asking me in the morning, "Are we going to see God?" I told her we were going to see one of God's best friends and messengers.
2) Going through the revision line for my November surgery and seeing the entity for the first time and sitting in current for the first time in 2007.
3) Seeing old friends and acquaintances from last year and meeting new folks from all over the world at the spiritual soup, at the Casa, at the pousada, at Cafe Central.
4) Speaking of Cafe Central . . . delivering a care package and special order to Grainne and Joao of hard to get items in Abadiania.
5) Delivering some birthday white Crocs (courtesy of Grainne) for Eliosa.
6) Sitting in the garden of Frutti's in the late afternoon with an intensive care nurse from London and a yoga teacher from Florida discussing arcangels, cooking and spiritual healing.
7) Burning a CD for Maha Dev of one of his healing power songs.
8) Being present. Here. Now.

Safe Arrival in Brasilia

2007-08-12T06:10:00.000-06:00

After 24 hours of travel from Boulder, Colorado to Brasilia, Brazil . . . I have arrived safe and tired to my room and my ethernet connection at the Blue Tree Hotel.

My overnight flight from Miami came over the rain forest in northern Brazil and connected in Manaus. In Miami, I met up with five other members of the JohnofGod-healing.com group.
There are 16 in this August group.

When did air travel become such an ordeal?
I know that Denver International Airport is now the ninth busiest airport in the world, but I have never seen the security lines as long as they were yesterday.
And all three planes I flew didn't have an empty seat.

Time to take a shower, hit the pool, enjoy Sunday Brunch and then watch Tiger Woods at the PGA Championship in Tulsa, Oklahoma on ESPN Desportes.

Déjà vu or Déjà senti?

2007-08-08T10:06:00.001-06:00

Pulltite Spring on the Current River in Missouri, July 2007

Three Days until my Saturday departure for Brazil.

The itineraries are printed, my visa arrived today, I've got a ride to the airport and I'm 42% packed.

Amazing how much has come together to make this trip happen since my decision to go was made and the ticket was bought about 2 and 1/2 weeks ago.

As I sit here in Boulder, Colorado writing this post I am remembering writing my first post before my first trip to Brazil eleven months ago.

I am feeling just as excited, just as ready and just as grateful as I did last year.

Being There

2007-08-08T10:06:00.000-06:00

Three Days until my Saturday departure for Brazil.
I am relaxed and responsible for my personal physical reality.
My intention for my trip is to continue to surrender to God.
Surrendering my unnecessary tension, my attachment (to the past, to the future, to how I want things to be), surrendering my ego.
I want more freedom, more consciousness and awareness, more presence in my life.

Taking Joy in the Intangible

2007-07-31T05:20:00.000-06:00

The nonphysical, the impalpable . . . the often unidentified.

Taking a moment to appreciate the laugh of a child,
the power of connection, the miracle of a day.

The movement of my awareness, the power to choose, the power to accept.

Off to the new BikramYoga studio in St. Louis.

Authenticity, Integrity and Intimacy

2007-07-29T23:07:00.000-06:00

Every moment is preparation and fulfillment.
I'm in St. Louis this week visiting family and old friends and preparing for the fast approaching departure of my second trip to Abadiana, Brazil to visit the entities of John of God at the Casa de Dom Inacio.

I'm getting more and more ready.
More and more excited.

I had a mini reading with my astrologer Melody Zindell and she reminded me that this was a time in my life to keep letting go, to keep doing my inner work and to not concern myself so much with the next step in my life.

That helped me to relax and decide to return to South America
where I can work, serve, earn some money and do my inner work.

The three legs of my present process are:
Meditation - Michael Brown's Presence Process
Food - The seven steps of Radiant Recovery
Exercise - Yoga and Chi Running

I had the delightful experience recently of meeting Nancy Hart in Boulder and spending some time in the Crystal Bed she got at the Casa.
Relaxing, grounding and very connecting.
Taking a crystal bath and taking the distant healing herbs are the two best alternatives if you cannot go to Brazil yourself.

And nothing compares to journeying to Brazil to see John of God yourself.

This year John of God will be at the Omega Institute in New York on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th of October. This will be a wonderful event and I encourage anyone who cannot make the trip to Brazil to go.

And to repeat - I always recommend going to Brazil as your best all-around healing option.
And I recommend Adrienne Grierson as your guide.
Two weeks in Brazil with John of God and the entities at the Casa on top of a magnificent conductor of energy - the biggest crystal in the world. Meeting like-minded people from all over the world. Visiting the sacred waterfall, the crystal beds, experiencing the wonderful culture, meditating in the current rooms, taking time to really unwind and be taken care of.
It is a total healing journey.

The Next Step

2007-07-23T02:37:00.000-06:00

The next step had been revealed.

I leave for Brazil for my second trip to the Casa in just 19 days.
My ticket is August 11- October 27.

God, help me be a conduit of your Love into the world.

Being in Boulder has not felt like my next step.
I do want to go back to Kauai.

But for now I want to serve and work and that will be in Abadiania.

Ouroboros. The cyclicality.

2007-07-09T09:39:00.000-06:00

Back in Boulder, Colorado.

Ouroboros.
I move on.
I don't.
I go back.
I am chasing my tail.
Life is a gift.

After a six month experience on the Garden Isle of Kauai . . . and what feels like a year since letting go of the yoga studio and traveling to New York and Brazil . . . here I am . . . back in Boulder, Colorado.

And looking forward to what is next.
Looking forward to knowing what is next.

Hawaii is a fabulous place to live and work.
The natural beauty is amazing and regenerative.
The Pacific Ocean is incredible.
The air is clean and sweet.
I'm glad I chose to do my bodywork certification training at the
Pacific Center of Awareness and Bodywork.
At this point in my life, it took a special place for me to do my massage certification.
PCAB is a special place.
Bodywork training mixed with awareness and consciousness work.
Being a better therapist by being more.

I so enjoyed the yoga community on Kauai.
My yoga practice continues to help ground my life.
Glad I had the opportunity to teach at Bikram Yoga Kauai.
And loved teaching and being on the north shore at Yoga Hanalei.

And the wonderful people I met . . .

So here I am back in Boulder after a fun Fourth of July weekend with family.
Robyn, Amina, Arin, John, Tish, Logan, Sarah, Owen, Becky, Barbara, Mandy and Chase.
Ready for the next step, the next adventure.

Thank you for my life.

Moving Right Along

2007-04-27T02:42:00.000-06:00

Almost two-thirds of the way through my Hawaiian adventure and I'm really settling in and enjoying it.
Seeing the end is increasing my appreciation even more.
School is inspiring and challenging.
I am enjoying giving bodywork like never before.
Camping at the beach is simple and invigorating.
Meeting interesting new people is always fun.
Yoga and swimming in the ocean continue to be of value.

And Kauai continues to be amazing.

I Can Do That

2007-04-20T18:17:00.000-06:00

I have passed the halfway point of my six month visit to the garden isle of Kauai.

I couldn't be more grateful for the whole experience.
The bodywork and awareness training is inspiring and challenging.

And this island is amazing.
Difficult to put into words.

My friend Allison is here from Boulder for my Spring Break and it fun being more of a tourist.

I love it here.
The nature, the ocean, the weather, the people, the food, the energy.

I recommend coming here.
Completely.

I am so glad I did.
And I will be back.

"It's Not That Bad"

2007-03-28T09:01:00.000-06:00

. . . May be the biggest lie I tell myself.

"Junk food is not that bad. "

Junk food is junk.

Many people want to believe that some day we will be able to perfect a new biotech food that gives us everything we need, lasts forever, is convenient and even comes in our favorite flavor. That day has already come and it is called natural food.
Eating Healthy is as simple as eating Fresh and Pure.

Make an effort.

Entertaining Distraction

2007-03-28T07:53:00.000-06:00

Being present appears to be easier when I'm feeling good.

Being sick, being busy. moving all obfuscate.
Being uncomfortable in any way motivates wanting to distract.

Then managing my distractions becomes a distraction instead of doing what I reallly want.

Being on my computer . . . learning, connecting, distracting.

Then I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm 46 years old.

Turning the Corner

2007-03-27T01:19:00.000-06:00

I finished a video editing project over the weekend that had been taking a lot of my time and attention (distracting me) and I told the truth in a couple of relationships that really freed things up.

I move out of my "land tent with hi-speed wireless internet" to a new "beach tent with ocean views" tomorrow. And I'm excited about the change.

Ready to really focus on school and get the most out of this educational experience.
I already feel more inspired, more confident and soon to be more credentialed with my bodywork skills.
I'm also ready to stop procrastinating a few other things.

I am reading and I recommend The Presence Process by Michael Brown.
Living more Present Moment Awareness, that's for me.

Continuing to get out of The Way

2007-03-18T05:07:00.000-06:00

New music playing on the iTunes.
A sunny day of adventure and people on the garden isle.
Teaching yoga, giving body work, being in nature and being creative.

Everything is okay. My life is here in this moment.
Touching the tenderness that is here.

Beware the ides

2007-03-15T17:27:00.000-06:00

I got to watch a little of the NCAA basketball tournament today . . .
no underdog wins all morning.

Do you think Pete Rose bet on any of the games?

The advertising, the money, the corporate-ness of amateur sport got to me.

. . . and it was still fun.

Lots of ups and downs this past week.
Since the sweat lodge, since the eclipse, since I found out I have to move next month.

Feels like I have a brain injury or some sort of craziness when it comes to dealing with challenges, with stress.

Feeling crazy? That's what friends are for.

March Madness The Road to the Vernal Equinox

2007-03-12T23:12:00.000-06:00

In the Northern Hemisphere, of course.

I learned a few things this weekend:

I have a car now, thanks to a friend who left the island for a few months and trusts me,
and it has pros and cons.
My classmate Lucinda gives a good haircut.
I can't handle coffee in any form . . .
I was doing cold pressed decaf at the local coffee shop,
Small Town Coffee, but I can't even handle that.

I can't handle it internally (couldn't sleep last night) and I can't handle it mentally.
Obsessively thinking about it an when I will get to have it next . . .

I'm going back to being a non-coffee drinker like I was before Brazil.
Life was simpler.
All the myriad of modern beverage choices narrowed down for me to water and tea.

I re-learned this weekend that a sweat lodge is a powerful way to embody intention.
Sunday was a powerful and profound sweat led by the Pacific Center of Awareness and Bodywork (PCAB) school director, Lee Joseph.
About a dozen students gathered to purify, clarify and bond.

Sweating is good for you.

The meaning of life is to make meaning of life.
My attachment to other people comes out of my lack.
When you're in it, you're in it.
I am ready to be fundamentally responsible for my physical reality.

Loving What You Do

2007-03-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm discovering that loving what I do is key.
All day, everyday, I'm doing something.
For me: to love is to be happy with.
. . . to give space to, to accept.

I'm attracted to the experience of being happy.

You hear the saying these days "Do what you love".
You hear it a lot.
That is good, too.

And don't get me wrong.
I love living in Hawaii, I love going to school.
I love giving therapeutic bodywork.
I love the people in my life.
I love teaching yoga . . .

. . . but not always.

And I'm gonna do what I do today.
And I'm going to be happy with it.

What the heck?

feeling stuck

2007-03-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

Life is happening.
The wheels are turning.

I feel dis-engaged somehow, somewhat.

The key for me is exercise.
Regular, daily, vigorous exercise.

Use my father as an inspiration.

And then do it.

BlackHoles

2007-03-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

A black hole is basically a star that has burned itself out and is in a period of contraction. Its density becomes increasingly larger, so large in proportion to its size that it’s pretty impossible to imagine. Since the gravity of an object (like the earth or a burned out star) is determined by a relationship between its mass and density, the star will eventually acquire a density so large that its escape velocity becomes absurdly high. After a while, the mind-boggling happens: the escape velocity—that is, the speed an object needs to attain before it goes off into space without being pulled down by gravity—becomes larger than light is fast. The escape velocity is so fast that not even light travels fast enough to escape; no light can escape the surface of the star.
That, pretty much, is a black hole.

I love being reminded that life is bigger than my brain's ability to understand it.

Get Busy.

2007-03-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

A re-newed new passion of mine is writing.

This blog is obviously a part of that passion.

Part of my new life here on Kauai is taking a writing class called "Just Write!" with Kim Steutermann Rogers.
Learn more about her here and here and here.

I am inspired.

Here is part of what I wrote in class today . . .

Busy.

Busy fascinates me.

The world around me feels so busy.
And it seems to be accelerating and getting busier.

I guess that is a result of my getting older, and the world having more people and more technology and more business (busy-ness).

What speed of living feels right to me?
What degree of busy-ness feels good to me?

My dad is always super busy.
My daughter is super busy.
Observing people like them often amazes me.
(maybe ambition skips a generation)

Me? I have always been a big fan of doing nothing.
Staring. Off into space. At nothing.

Being on Kauai I notice I am slowing down even more.
Distracting less.
Feeling more.

What do I want to fill my life with?
What do I love?
I love being in nature, listening and being listened to, touching and being touched, writing, traveling, meditating and practicing yoga.
All things that bring me more alive - more awake to this delicious present moment.

"Get busy, Mercury."

By saying "no" more to what I don't want.
By taking a slow, deep breath now.

Get Busy.

The Paradox of Choice

2007-03-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

The freedom to choose is valuable.

And, like with most things, more is not always better.

Modern society and capitalistic consumerism have taken it to ridiculous levels.
(see the cold cereal aisle at the store)

Most choice to me feels like the illusion of choice.
Distracting me from the primary, fundamental choices:
What is important to me?
What do I want to spend my precious time doing?
And who with?

I can get distracted with all the shiny apples on the tree.
More simple feels more alive to me.

My today will be filled with school, work, yoga, friends, nature and whole food.

Being Creative

2007-03-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

from a favorite blog PostSecret

Be creative

Creativity is not reserved just for those who engage in artistic pursuits. In every life, in every situation, there are opportunities to be creative.

Being creative means acknowledging that there are many possibilities beyond the obvious. Being creative means having the courage to consider doing things in a way that's different than the way they've always been done.

Creativity gives you the ability to solve multiple problems with a single course of action. Creativity transforms weakness into strength, and builds value where there was none before.

Imagine the possibility of a connection between things that don't appear to be connected, and creativity will start to take hold. Look at life from a new perspective, and it will further nourish your creativity.

Creativity refuses to accept limits. And as such, with sufficient creativity you can move beyond any obstacle.

There is always room for improvement, and there is always a place for beauty, for achievement, for fulfillment. Be creative, and you'll continue to add richness to life.

-- Ralph Marston
greatday.com

A Bright Clear Moonlit Night in the Tent

2007-03-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

. . . And I'm wide awake.

Accept the letting go that needs to happen. Release my load, the attachments that have helped me feel secure but which, in truth, have come to own me. Accept this rebirth cycle into better times coming my way. Fear of change gets in my way, and I struggle to keep my morale up. Without ME I have nothing to work with, make ME number one in my life and lead others by example.

from Kelly Rosano's newsletter:
Make friends with change! Practice the Law of Allowing and allow for what needs to leave your life now to go with blessing and gratitude. What if you were able to Celebrate what had been and allow that it would leave you only to allow something new and more suited to your level of growth to come in? Then you could bless each ending without needing to enter into blame and judgment. You could move forward with the expectation of Joy and Love and Positive New Experiences. In this way, we “create the space” for the new work, the new relationships, and the new opportunities to enter our lives, for we have the faith and the enthusiasm that something better is right around the corner. “Do what you love. Love what you do. Live life with passion. Every moment of your life is deserving of your wholehearted participation.” --Ivo/Lisa Dorr

Having the life I want by being fully present to the life I have.

2007-02-27T03:47:00.000-07:00

Life is to be experienced as it is.

I was tired at school today and I'm having trouble sleeping tonight.

Compassion for the recognition that most of my suffering is self-created.

I want my Essential Self more fully expressed in my life.
Moment to moment.

I want to live a creative life.
I want to live my best life.

Sweat It Out . . .

2007-02-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

. . . It is good for you.

Taught my first two Bikram Yoga classes in Kauai over the weekend.

Teaching is good for my soul.

Being of service and doing something I love always is.

Passionately inspiring my students to use their 2.6 million sweat glands and to connect their mind to their body . . .

. . . with their breath.

One of my new students strained his shoulder by over doing it.
Impatience is an unfortunate trait of human beings (that seizes people full force when they get caught up with the idea of self-improvement).

I was nervous.
Even though I have taught about 1500 classes (300 classes per year for 5 years).

Inspiring people to breathe more . . .
Inhibitions blocking their vital capacity.

Health is simple but not easy.

Exercise regularly for strength and endurance.
Breathe more.
Eat whole foods and chew them well.
Get some sleep.

People are saying . . .

2007-02-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

. . . that last night's storm was the most intense of the winter rainy season.

Buckets.
Sheets.
Cats and Dogs.

With incredible pyrotechnics from the thunder and lighting.
Loud.
Hair standing up - not just on the back of my neck.
Close . . .
. . . To me . . .
. . . in my tent.

And I stayed dry.

An interesting external reflection to my internal experience.
My beta-endorphins crashing after too much caffeine yesterday, cortisol levels high.
Not sleeping well.
Anxious about teaching my first Bikram Yoga class on the island this morning.
Stormy.

The class went great. The day unfolded.
A shared lunch with Mardis Gras John and then receiving a connective tissue session from him.
Giving sessions to Kurtis and later tonight two more clients.
Hanging with Ross from Australia and Janet from NYC (both Bikram instructors) and discussing the physical, historical and the philosophical aspects of "locking the knee".

Ross generously expanding my wardrobe and my linens as he prepares to depart the island after his month long Antipodean vacation.

Grace.
Miracles.
. . . and hopefully some studying this weekend.

another political perspective

2007-02-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

. . . from my compassionate conservative friend:

Hey Merc,
I couldn't get (your video) to play, but let me guess: it was more Bush
bashing. Don't worry January of 2009 will be here soon enough and
we'll have a new administration.
What will happen when there's another 9/11?
Will you be ready for war then?
Remember that war:
ended slavery,
defeated Nazism,
liberated the world from Communism and the threat of nuclear annihilation,
gave a democratic homeland to many millions of Jews,
ended the savagery of the Taliban in Afghanistan and Hussein's regime.
Bush, ironicaly, will go down in history as the liberator of the
Shiites in Iraq and some day the threat of Islamic Fascisim will
disappear from the civilized world.
Women will no longer be treated like beasts, Christians and Jews will
not be regarded as non-humans who can be killed or enslaved at will
and the cult of death that is called Islam will be transformed into a
religion instead of a political philosophy whose only goal is death to
non-believers.
Your friend,
R

PS - If we had cable news during WWII the horrors and screw-ups of
D-Day would have resulted in our withdrawel from Europe and the victory
of Fascism over that continent.

live, love and be happy

2007-02-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

express yourself
The Kilauea Farmer's Market 2007

A wild Mercury retrograde day. Hitch-hiking in one direction, getting a call and then hitch-hiking in the other direction. Waiting over an hour to get a ride.
Up until today, my hitching experience had been lovely.
Economical.
Environmental.
Social. I had met great people and learned alot about the island and the community.

Today was more challenging.

And the deeper style bodywork I'm learning is taking a toll on my fingers, wrists and back.

Enough complaining.
Another day in paradise.
Doing yoga and giving connective bodywork.

“In the face of adversity, uncertainty and conflicting sensory information, I hereby pledge to remain ever mindful of the magical, infinite, loving reality I live in. A reality that conspires tirelessly in my favor. I further recognize, that living within space and time, as a Creation amongst my Creations, is the ultimate Adventure, because thoughts become things, dreams come true, and all things remain forever possible. As a Being of Light, I hereby resolve to live, love and be happy, at all costs, no matter what, with reverence and kindness for All. So be it!”
from The Oath to receive "Notes from the Universe" www.tut.com

Bumper Sticker Wisdom. Bumper Sticker Fun.

2007-02-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

.
Twenty-two (22) recently seen bumper stickers:

1) That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties
Anyway.

2) Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First.

3) You Can't Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same
Time.

4) If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President.

5) Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

6) George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids
Will Have to Fight.

7) Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore.

8) America : One Nation, Under Surveillance.

9) Which God Do You Kill For?

10) Jail to the Chief.

11) Who Would Jesus Torture?

12) No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade?

13) Bad president! No Banana.

14) We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One
Language.

15) We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill
Them.

16) Rich Man's War, Poor Man's Blood.

17) Is It Vietnam Yet?

18) Impeach Cheney First.

19) Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too.

20) When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.32/gal.

21) The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th
Century.

22)
2004: Embarrassed
2005: Horrified
2006: Terrified.

I was born over a billion seconds ago.

2007-02-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

Our government likes to spend money.
The US government is spending $1 billion dollars on the wars
in Afghanistan and Iraq every 2-3 days.

this is from broomnbob@citlink.net
by way of Cedar@RightUseofPower.com

What is a billion???

The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about whether you want the "politicians" spending your Tax Money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

b. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

c. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

d. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

e. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division . Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.
Interesting number, what does it mean?

a. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

b. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787.

c. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Re-Realization of Priority

2007-02-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

"You can be fully satisfied with where you are, understanding that you're eternally evolving. When you get into that place of feeling appreciation of where you are, and appreciation of what you are, and you accept that you are a never-ending, always unfolding Being, then you can stand in that delicate balance of being optimistic about what is to come, without being unhappy about where you stand. Find a way of eagerly anticipating future changes, while at the same time you are in love and satisied with who, what, where and how you be." - Abraham -Esther Hicks.

What is the most important thing?
Where is my energy best directed?
How can I do my best?

As I take another inventory of my life the answers appear.
Body - My Body is strong, fit, flexible and energetic. It is also predominantly pain-free. My diet is solid (all whole foods, less quantity consumed, no sugar/flour). Fitness is good (3-4 Bikram Yoga classes/week, personal practice, bouncing, swimming, etc.).
Mind - Challenged by school. Reading. Writing more (like this blog).
Emotions - Feeling generally happy and in the flow. Sensitive. Not addicting. Avoiding less. More time spent in authentic, essential self - Less time in false self. Slower.
Soul - Giving it more attention. Meditating every morning. Power of attraction. Telling the truth faster.
Relationships - Grateful my family and friends . . . for the love I give and receive. I'm content with being single.
Career/Work - Inspired by my awareness and bodywork training. Looking forward to being a certified massage therapist and sharing the healing power of touch, listening and presence.
Money - This is my area of greatest challenge. Bringing my attention here would create the most value in every other area of my life. Learning the lessons of my current experience - that I can be properous without much money, that the less I consume the more alive I feel and I want to support myself and the people I love and the causes I believe in.

"Don't worry, make money." - Richard Carlson
"The trick to money is having some." -Stuart Wilde

Un-evolved Self-Interest?

2007-02-16T20:36:00.000-07:00

I wasn't a good blogger last week. I had a realization how incredibly self centered it is to write a blog about myself. Yes, it took me six months to realize that. All I have been doing here is writing about me.

Me, me and me.

Don't get me wrong there is no way I'm stopping writing about me, who doesn't love thinking/writing/obsessing about themselves? I guess I just got choked by the realization of my own narcissism. Then again . . . those who know me or have met me at least once know that I have never pretended to be modest.

It seems writing a blog about yourself is the new black. Everyone is doing it (if you're not - if you are stuck back in 1998 - get with the program - at least give it try). Small kids, teenagers, old people, dogs, even lawyers are doing it.

I started this blog back in September of '06 as a travel journal of my journey to Brazil to be with John of God.

It was very healing.

The healing continues.

Writing is a part of that healing.

Hawaiian Spirituality

2007-02-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

Today at school we explored E.O.T. (Energy Oriented Therapies) . . .
Polarity Therapy, Reiki, etc.

My favorite was Huna Principles.
The word Huna means “That which is hidden or not obvious” and is used in modern times to refer to a sacred system of knowledge about the nature of the universe that empowers the practitioner.
In 1936, Max Freedom Long used it to describe what he called “the secret science behind the miracles” that ancient Hawaiian Kahuna (experts) performed.

1. You create your own reality. (I’ke)
2. You are unlimited. (Kala)
3. You get what you concentrate on (Energy goes where attention flows) (Makea)
4. The moment of power is now. (Manawa)
5. To love is to be happy with. (Aloha)
6. All power comes from within. (Mana)
7. Effectiveness is the measure of truth. (Pono)

Aloha.

The Siren call of the Wi-Fi

2007-02-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

It is interesting living "primitively", close to the earth in a tent . . . with no artificial lighting except my laptop computer with high speed internet access.

Watching my favorite vlogs, The Daily Show on Comedy Central, Reading the New York Times and St. Louis Cardinal blogs, writing my blog and e-mails . . .

Spending time falling into the vortex of "time spent on the computer".
Trying to change the blog template and get the archived post dates correct in the margin.

Learning a lot.
Mostly to be more patient and persistent.

Resonance Perception

2007-02-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

in the tent in Hawaii in February

Life is to be experienced as it is.

2007-02-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite concepts in life are Contradiction (often referred to as Paradox) and Irony.

Paradox (Greek-"aside belief") is an apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition.

In logic, a contradiction consists of a logical incompatibility between two or more propositions. It occurs when the propositions, taken together, yield two conclusions which form the logical inversions of each other.

Nutrition has lots of contradiction . . . Raw food v. Macrobiotics, Low-carb v. Vegan, etc.

Irony is understood as an aesthetic valuation by an audience, which relies on a sharp discordance between the real and the ideal, and which is variously applied to texts, speech, events, acts, and even fashion. All the different senses of irony revolve around the perceived notion of an incongruity, or a gap, between an understanding of reality, or expectation of a reality, and what actually happens.

Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

I like being reminded that life is bigger than my brain's ability to understand it.

Two months since my Visible Surgery.

2007-02-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

One month since I became single again.
And three weeks now since arriving in Kauai
. . . and I'm really beginning to stabilize and ground into all the changes.

I feel lighter.
Like there is less in between my essential self and my moment to moment expression.
Less tension, less trying, less defending, less avoiding, less addicting.

I feel more clarity, more energy, more creativity, more confidence, more trust.
More honest with myself, more impeccable, more certainty that I'm in the right place and doing the right thing.
I'm also getting more in touch with what I want . . . and that is refreshing.
(more on that later)

I am so glad I went to Brazil and connected more with the entities of John of God..
I am so glad I met and fell in love with Adrienne Grierson.

I am so grateful that I am here now.

My Vision of Spirituality:
Learning to be more authentically present and to love myself and the person next to me.
Developing more trust . . . and knowing that everything that happens to me is perfect, designed for my unfolding awareness and my healing and my amusement.
The key is to keep focusing on what I want, what I have to give, what I love and what I love to do
. . . and then step into my life, my every day, my every breath with the confidence that it is on its way.

I love the adventure of my life.
The beautiful planet I live on and the wonderful people I get to share life with.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

All Roads Lead to Home

2007-01-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

The more I open into the present moment, the more I let go of ideas and concerns about "what's next".

"I don't know what I will do with myself" becomes more true.

Yesterday I went to the Inspiration Journal's Health and Wellness conference in Kapa'a.

Lots of fun and learning and healing.

I started the day with an atlas adjustment called AstroProFilax.
Although I'm usually sceptical of treatments that claim to be "one-time only, guaranteed" I followed my strong attraction and went for it.
It was intense and expensive and I have felt much better since (and I've even had some little miracles happen in the 24 hours since) so you know I loved the treatment.
I am:
ProAlignment
ProEnergy
ProFreedom
ProHealing
ProIntuition
ProCreativity
ProConsciousness
ProPeace
ProClarity
ProLove
ProHigherVibration
ProRelaxation and now,
Pro AstroProFilax

After that I sampled lots of nutritional products from aloe to zeolite.
From algae to noni to goji to flax.

After hearing a few speakers and getting both a Kahuna and a Deeksha blessing I was good to go.
My old Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Spring 2002 buddy Michael Cooper then picked me up and we went to a fabulous vegan dinner at the Blossoming Lotus.

I'm also
ProAwareness
ProTruth
ProFocus
ProStrength
ProAliveness
ProExpansion
ProAbundance
ProLove (worth repeating)
ProPower
ProLovePower
ProWillPower
ProFlexability
ProBeing
ProGratitude
ProAcceptance

Tomorrow will be two months now since my visible opeation in Abadiania, Brazil with the entity Jose Valdevino at the Casa de Dom Inacio.
I'll never forget the words of my friend Grainne McEntee . . .
who said, "You really can't fully appreciate the effects of your surgery until two months afterward".

My full appreciation will be appearing here soon.

Today is the Anniversary of Something

2007-01-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

After completing my second week of school, I am committed to relaxing today, settling in more, studying some, getting organized and feeling 'caught up'.
The professional training I am receiving at the Pacific Center of Awareness and Bodywork is beyond my expectations. The emphasis on "Awareness" . . . of becoming a more full on human being . . . is very healing for me (as well as inspiring and refreshing).

When I was younger and way more arrogant and egoic than I still am, I thought I knew what 'emotional work' was and that I was doing it. Now I'm releasing at at whole new level . . . and I see that everything that has happened before has prepared me for this (and, at the same time all my addictions have prevented me from).

It is really nice being with open beings.

This path is good for me.

Making It Happen

2007-01-22T10:04:00.001-07:00

There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. Maybe the message we are getting from the universe doesn’t even make sense in the “real” world, but somewhere inside, these urges feel right. Maybe you feel you are being told to move to a new city although your life where you are is just fine. Or maybe you feel the desire to pursue a new direction in your career when it never really interested you before. When we spend time getting in touch with our higher selves, our intuition sends us directives to lead us to become our best and most fulfilled selves. And when we are open and listening, the next step is to take action and go for it.

Once we make the decision to pursue our inner urgings, the universe sets into motion the means for all sorts of details to fall into place. A sense of peace will come over us, because we know that any questions will no longer make us wonder if our dreams are possible, but how to make them happen. Instead of deterring us from our goal, these questions only serve to clarify our focus to move us forward. We need not throw caution to the wind to follow our dream. The positive shift in our energy affects everything around us. Like a rush of water, it goes ahead to clear debris from our path so that we can go forward. Our new attitude also attracts likeminded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Wherever your dreams are pointing you today, take a step. Take action and manifest your inner urges and soul whisperings.

First Day of School

2007-01-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

Things are coming together.
I moved into my new place yesterday and started school today.

I really enjoy my new "land mate".
I have a deluxe protected tent on Kurtis' land.
With laundary facilities, small kitchen, hi-speed internet access and a
"Me Tarzan, You Jane" outdoor shower.

Kurtis is very much an activist for sustainable Life on Earth.
School is inspiring and healing already.

I can't wait to start giving bodywork.

Taking an even bigger leap of Faith

2007-01-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

with my Casa triangle in Boulder, CO

My next step is going to Hawaii on Thursday for the Connective Bodywork Training with Carole Madsen and Lee Joseph.
Since letting go of my partnership in my Yoga Studio last summer I have been doing more bodywork and enjoying it.
My experience working with the entities in Brazil was very profound.
I have been doing professional massage for 25 years (1982) and it is time to get fully certified.

It is a huge step into the unknown on my part with very little money.
I'm calling forth tremendous Trust that it is the right thing for me to do and things will work out.

God Help Me.

The Journey to God continues in 2007.

2007-01-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

It has been over one month now since my surgery in Brazil.
The journey has been painful the last month.
Here is my latest correspondence with the entities through the
Prayer triangle:

Healing Request for the Entities
January 2, 2007

I continue to trust that what I want wants me.
Thank you for your healing attention.
It has been very challenging - difficult and painful.
Please give me more strength and faith and trust.
I want to find my place in the world and pitch in.

What I wanted one month ago:
I am healing my impeccability around money and working.
I am healing the discs and muscles of my thoracic spine.
I want more balance in my brain chemistry and freedom from addictive tendencies.
I am healing my emotional nature, expressing a lightness of being, peace, freedom.
My Mom is getting what she needs for her next step.
More heart room.
I also want energetic healing support in my eyes, joints,
skin and immune system.
I want to let go and surrender more to the miracle of living.

I still want all of that.
Help me to enjoy the journey from here to there.

In addition to my surgery requests, I also now want:

Strength and Faith as I go through the healing of my emotional nature,
my relationship changes and major life changes.
Strength and Faith for my Mom in her changes.

A smooth transition to living in Hawaii.

To continue to identify and release the beliefs and the pain that are
standing between me and what I want.

I love my work.
Money comes to me frequently, easily and abundantly.
I am releasing my financial karma.

I spend parts of each year in Hawaii, Brazil, Colorado and New York.
I am able to work wherever I go offering unique healing sessions that
support awareness through movement, breath and touch.

All my relationships are inspiring and fun.
I am letting go of the past . . .

My health continues to be fabulous.
Energy, fitness, strength, flexibility, youth.
I weigh 172 pounds.

My earth journey is simple.

The Kingdom of Heaven is a softness, a presence, an equilibrium, a peace that surpasses understanding.
It is the reality that dawns upon me when I am living as I was created to live; when my priorities are in place; when I am treating all of creation as I was created to treat it. The Kingdom of Heaven is a sense of connection to the Divine.
Help me to live in this awareness.

I journey lightly with luggage, clothes, computer and accessories (external HD, headphones), camera, bodywork supplies, yoga mat, personal care products, food and nutritional products, files and some photos and stationary.

I am returning to Abadiania for an extended stay in September, 2007.

Thank You.
May I continue to be a channel for God's Love into the world.

Robert Mercury
Mercury Roberts
1705 14th St. #200
Boulder, CO 80302 USA

June 6, 1960

Today is four weeks since I had my visible surgery with Jose Valdevino

2006-12-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

. . . and it still feels like a blur.
My whole life feels foggy.
I don't know where to live.
Where to work.
Whether to stay in Boulder or go to Hawaii for a massage training.
To stay with my girlfriend, Adrienne.
How to stay clean with my food and sugar.

There is a pain in me that is coming out.

the day after Christmas

2006-12-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a month since my surgery and the transitions continue to be tough.
The transition back to America.
And the transition my life is in from what it was to what it will be next.

I am reading a book by Pema Chodron called "When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice for Difficult Times".
I quote, " When things fall apart and we're on the verge of we know not what, the test is for each of us to stay on the brink and not concretize. The spiritual journey is not about heaven and finally getting to a place that's really swell. In fact, that way of looking at things keeps us miserable. Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly. The very first noble truth of the Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable for human beings as long as we believe that things last - that they don't disintegrate, that they can be counted on to satisfy our hunger for security. From this point of view, the only time we really know what is going on is when the rug's been pulled out and we can't find anywhere to land. We use these situations either to wake ourselves up or to put ourselves to sleep. Right now - in the very instant of groundlessness - is the seed of taking care of those who need our care and of discovering our goodness."

God, I pray for the strength to stay present in the moment of not knowing, to take care of myself and those I love and to continue to wake myself up.
Amen and Merry Christmas.

three weeks after my surgery

2006-12-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

veggie buffet at frutti's

It has been three weeks now since my visible surgery and I'm beginning to get a perspective on the experience and on my life now.
The return to the states (New York City and now Boulder) has been challenging.

To say the least.

I am very calm and strong physically.
But I have felt lost emotionally.
Like I don't know where I should be going or what I should be doing.

-and being homeless doesn't help matters-

I am staying with my fiend Vida in Boulder and her fun loving family.
We have been enjoying the "Holiday Blizzard of 2006", as the media has been calling it.
26 inches of snow in the past 36 hours and it is still snowing now at noon on the solstice.
We'll see if driving to St. Louis for Christmas with my daughter tomorrow is a possibility.

two weeks since my surgery

2006-12-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

-- back in the day
hanging with Russian-Americans in Brazil

It has been two weeks since my visible surgery with the entity. I feel like I've been through Hell and back.
All my ego defenses, addictions, resistance and rebellion have surfaced and reared their ugly heads.
I'm doing my best to accept all the parts of myself, remember my vision and focus on doing things I enjoy.
Today I prayed alot, took a walk, went to the chiropractor, didn't eat sugar and spent hours learning to use my new computer.

Although the re-entry has been hard, I m very grateful for the awareness and the sensitivity I have . . . the gratitude I have for the gift of this life.

the power of now.

2006-12-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

“The key is always found within the cage. It takes prolonged self-observation to see how attached we are to our own suffering.” –Charles Tart

My head is spinning as I re-enter America.
From rural Brazil to lower Manhattan.
Could there be a greater cultural disparity?

One step at a time.
One day at a time.
Trust.

my 43rd blog post

2006-12-05T03:39:00.000-07:00

Here I sit in Adrienne's lower east side manhattan apartment playing on my new Apple Macbook laptop computer.

Thinking.

Thinking of what really matters to me, what I want and what is next for me.

One of the side effects of "letting go of everything" as I did leading up to my trip to Brazil, is coming back to a blank slate and the vulnerability of starting over.

I know, gratitude first.

get-away day

2006-12-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

66 days in brazil have come to an end.
Adrienne and I fly back to New York overnight tonight.

Last night was very relaxed and nostalgic as people gathered at Cafe Central and Frutti's after the week at the Casa.
(A quick note of thanks to Ultan for getting me the tea pot to give Adrienne).

I'm ready.
Feeling complete as I say some goodbye's, pick up some tailoring
and pack my bags.
I feel very strong and calm after my surgery on Thursday.
My back feels better.

I'm sure that the extent of my changes will not be fully evident until I get back to the states and to my "normal" life.
My new friend Grainne says she really didn't feel the effects of her surgeries until months later.

More thoughts soon as the journey continues . . .

Robert's Excellent Adventure

2006-11-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

Click on image to play. 4 minutes. May take a minute to load.

Physical Surgery(Quicktime)
This morning I had a physical surgery and am resting. Adrienne and her whizz bang techo skills have brought you this hot off the press while I lay resting in post-op mode, with eye mask and ear plugs.

exciting prescription

2006-11-29T12:10:00.000-07:00

Going through the second time line today, the entity Jose Valdevino looked me in the eye, took my hand and told me (through an interpreter) he would "help my mother" and that tomorrow morning is "operation" for me.

Which means I'm on the dockett for spiritual psychic (energetic) surgery.
It will be invisible or I can choose to have it be visible (an actual physical procedure).

The main three visible surgeries the entities here do are 1) scraping the surface of the eyeball with a knife blade, 2) cutting the skin with a scalpel, most often the ribcage or abdominal area, probing the wound a bit and then sewing it up with stitches, and 3) putting an 8 inch pair of forceps holding some cotton up your nose deep into your sinuses and beyond.

Areas I want the surgery to address:
I am healing my impeccability around money and working.
I am healing the discs and muscles of my thoracic spine.
I want more balance in my brain chemistry and freedom from addictive tendencies.
I am healing my emotional nature, expressing a lightness of being, peace, freedom.
More heart room.
I also want energetic healing support in my eyes, joints, skin and immune system.
I want to let go and surrender more to the miracle of living.

I am going to ask to have a visible surgery tomorrow.

Then it will be:
24 hours of complete rest . . . my eyes closed as much as possible.
No intense physical activity for a week.
Lots of Casa herbs for weeks and months.
No sex for 40 days, with myself or anyone else.

It feels like this will be a watershed moment,
something I have been preparing for for a long time.

Since I left for Brazil on September 28th.
Since I got my ticket on August 4th.
Since the Entity marked my photograph with an "X" on June 12th.
Since I began taking the distant healing herbs from the Casa on April 14th.
Since the Entity first saw my photograph on March 23rd.
Since I met Adrienne in Boulder at Seth's house on March 7th.
Since October 2005 when I learned of John of God when Seth came here to Abadiania with Adrienne.

I love my life and I want to live.

2006-11-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

Hanging out with the medium.

Yesterday, my beloved bicycle was stolen.

Letting go of it is the only choice . . .
and I had to let go of my disappoinment, too.

This was coupled with 3 other big emotional cans that were already open . . . for an interesting day of soup.

Alot of my healing here has been letting go of old stored up emotional energy . . .
I have cried quite alot.

Quite alot.

As I keep feeling . . . the "crying guy" and the "rageful guy" are coming together to be reunited into an essential guy.

the power is now

2006-11-28T03:16:00.000-07:00

get clear and ask

brazil by bike

2006-11-28T00:07:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of my visit has been not driving a car.

Living a simpler lifestyle, getting there faster than walking, getting some exercise and getting some fresh air in my lungs . . .
Getting there by peddling there has been a highlight of visit.

Salto Corumbá

2006-11-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

"the essence of the nature"
Very near to Abadiania are the waterfalls of Salto Corumbá.
Beauty. Energy. CalmPower.
I enjoyed getting away with Adrienne on Sunday.

put down your isolation and join the conversation

2006-11-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

the november 2006 international love gang

gratefulness, gratitude and thanksgiving

2006-11-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

As an American, I can take a lot for granted.

Hot running water, a comfortable place to live, enough food, nice clothes and shoes, a job, and millions of choices in whatever product I want to purchase.
I am grateful today for all of these things.

I am grateful for my physical health and energy, for Adrienne - to share love and to share the experience of being alive with, for my lovely, loving daughter . . . a walking miracle of God and nature.
I am grateful for the opportunity to come here to Brazil and to see things differently. . . to experience the wonderful spiritual healing and the wonderful people of the Casa de Dom Inacio.
I so appreciate the wonderful people in my life.
I am grateful for all of the abundance that I have, and of the ability to enjoy it.

Amen.

"God may not always give us answers, but He always gives us grace"

2006-11-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

Fin de semana.
"The weekend" in Abadiania.

More rich experience.

On Saturday morning, the group had an opportunity to "check in" . . .
going around the circle and sharing where they were at.
Lots of letting go is happening in the group.
A letting go of "trying", of effort.
Letting go of control.

Some poignant stories of the invisible psychic surgeries of the first week.
Then Sarah Ingier led a guided meditation to support us to "run our energy".

. . . Opening more.
Surrendering more.
Turning on the "being".
And Being more.

Healing is happening in me and in the group.
More Peace.
Becoming more quiet, more authentic, more whole.

Lots of rest is also happening in the group.
One man told me that he slept more than he can remember.
Many people in the group meditated, did a crystal bed and went to the waterfall for a refreshing and cleansing shower.
The waterfall is a powerful combination of nature's elements and the entities energies.

I have been down the road to the waterfall probably 15 or 20 times since I've been here and I always come back up the road feeling better . . . much better.
As a massage therapist/bodyworker for 23 years, never have I found a more effective way to clean other people's energy out of my field (especially my arms).

Speaking of massage, I gave two more sessions on Saturday.
The opportunity to work with the entities and to give to others is always a pleasure and a gift.
To use breath and touch to bring more awareness into the body.
To relax more into a receptive - healing - being mode.
Last night I had the honor of giving the first massage a 77 year old woman had ever received.

Some people are making it a "spiritual spa weekend" - combining the waterfall, crystal beds, massages and meditations with a relaxing 90-minute manicure, pedicure and foot massage from Iricilda and Eleosa at the "Blessed" Salon.

Many in the group enjoyed native South American dancing from members of the Fulni-O tribe last evening. The Fulni-O Indians of the Pernambuco area of northeastern Brazil are only modestly known within and outside of Brazil. They now number less than 6,000 and have lived on their current "reserve" of land for more than 500 years. Their name, Fulni-O, means "people near the river."

Ironically, given their name, the region where they live has been in a state of drought for four years and so the rivers are dry and the Fulni-O have not had access to water during these four years. As a result, they are suffering as they cannot raise their crops, and starvation is a real issue; nor can they find the grasses for their fine weaving work, and their entire situation has become desperate on many levels.

Among other things, cattle ranchers are trying to take half their remaining land away, and some of the local Brazilian townspeople have repeatedly burned and looted the Fulni-O homes. And, as with many tribes throughout the world, the impingement of the western world upon their lifestyle has created loss of land and the resultant disruption of a culture based on ties to its land. And with this disruption comes despair. And finally the northeast of Brazil is generally one of its poorest regions in the country, and the drought has exacerbated conditions in an already challenging area.

The Fulni-O, despite these many and complex pressures and challenges, have held on to their spiritual and healing practices. Every year for three months they go on spiritual retreat, in order to renew their ties to their traditional ways. And because of this three month retreat, only four Indians were available in Abadiania last night to dance.

be careful what you ask for . . .

2006-11-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

yoga dudes at the Casa

I decided today that my best healing move was to go past the entity and ask for emotional healing, and get the beloved herbs . . . which I ran out of last week and was starting to miss.
My emotions were on the move, very close to the surface . . .
then, on the way to the Casa, I had a meltdown.
I never even made it to the line to see the entity.

an emotional meltdown.
a breakdown/a breakthrough.

and tonight I feel much lighter . . .
the emotions can seem so much bigger than you are - overwhelming - when you are holding them in.
. . . but when you feel them and let them move and let them out . . . you can see them in proper perspective -- as a part of you --.

The experience of healing in Abadiania is truly an inside job.

A Moment in the Garden

2006-11-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Another white Wednesday in the garden with the bougainvillea.

"Every Step You Take is Grace In Action."
-- Sufi saying.
This statement has penetrated my heart- I have adopted it as a philosophy, applying it to every situation in my life. I certainly can't explain the many experiences showered upon me but I trust that all my life experiences and every single person that enters my life is God and is "Grace in Action".

Declaracion de Republica

2006-11-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

Grainne's reaction to her new orange crocs.
Another Brazilian holidays brings many more Brazilians to the Casa than a regular Wednesday . . . 600 or 700 I would estimate . . . couple this with a medium who arrives an hour late . . . and it equals a four hour and fifteen minute current and lots of very anticipatory first timers.
All 20 of our first timers met the entity today and nine (including Sarah, one of the leaders) were prescribed spiritual surgery this afternoon.

It is amazing to me . . . that hundreds of people . . . from all over the planet . . . got what they needed today at a spiritual hospital in Brazil.

Some of my favorite moments today were the look on Alvoro's face when 18 eager people arrived at breakfast at 7AM or earlier . . . assisting Dolores to her lunchtime crystal beds before her seeing of the entity in the 2 o'clock line . . . singing happy birthday to Courtney . . . taking dinner to Karen as she was recovering from her invisible spiritual surgery . . . giving Grainne from Ireland and Cafe Central a massage and laughing alot . . .

The Blue Christ Energy at Don Bosco

2006-11-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

One day at a time

2006-11-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

being a spiritual snob makes you "ultra-resistant"

communal reinforcement and the placebo effect

2006-11-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

The placebo effect of nature . . .

From the Skeptic's Dictionary skepdic.com
"The physician's belief in the treatment and the patient's faith in the physician exert a mutually reinforcing effect; the result is a powerful remedy that is almost guaranteed to produce an improvement and sometimes a cure." -- Petr Skrabanek and James McCormick, Follies and Fallacies in Medicine, p. 13.

The placebo effect is the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health not attributable to treatment. This effect is believed by many people to be due to the placebo itself in some mysterious way. A placebo (Latin for "I shall please") is a medication or treatment believed by the administrator of the treatment to be inert or innocuous. Placebos may be sugar pills or starch pills. Even "fake" surgery and "fake" psychotherapy are considered placebos.

Researchers and medical doctors sometimes give placebos to patients. Anecdotal evidence for the placebo effect is garnered in this way. Those who believe there is scientific evidence for the placebo effect point to clinical studies, many of which use a control group treated with a placebo. Why an inert substance, or a fake surgery or therapy, would be effective is not known.

the psychological theory: it's all in your mind

Some believe the placebo effect is psychological, due to a belief in the treatment or to a subjective feeling of improvement.
Communal reinforcement is the process by which a claim becomes a strong belief through repeated assertion by members of a community.

So, is it all in my mind?

I believe the spirits here in Brazil are real . . . and the mind has a significant muliplying effect on individual healing.
It is not either/or . . . it is both/and.

I believe that it is all in my head.
So, I'm going to make it up the way I want.
Love, Health, Fun, Beauty, Prosperity, Adventure, Creativity, Connection and more Fun.

The Onslaught of the Known

2006-11-11T22:18:00.000-07:00

A happy haircut in Brazil by a New Yorker from Uzbekistan.

Everybody talks about the fear of the unknown.
Sometimes, the terror for me, lies in the onslaught of the known.

Adrienne and I are finishing up our second week between groups.
That girl works hard. All the logistics of getting 20 new people here to rural Brazil, answering all their questions, and preparing for their well-planned stay. All the while, maintaining her website, showing her film locally and finishing up movies full of memories for her past groups.

Me? I run errands and make tea.

Although -- I am looking forward to guiding microbus #2 through Brazil's capital on Monday.
(and eating at the Spettus Churrascaria).

For a taste of the experience, here is the
Initial Itinerary for group #3

Sunday, November 12th
Arrive Brasilia . . .
Settle into your room at the Blue Tree Park Hotel . . .
Rest . . .
Enjoy the swimming pool and lunch at the hotel restaurant.
Rest some more.

8PM- Group dinner and meeting at the hotel restaurant.

Portuguese Words of the Day— “Thank you” is “Obrigado” from men and “Obrigada” from women.

Tips of the Day – 1) Do not flush toilet paper in Brazilian Toilets. 2) You can change some money at the hotel front desk for a rate of
2 real = 1 dollar but you can also charge things (lunch at hotel, spa-gym, etc.) to your room. Change your big money through Adrienne on Monday.

Monday, November 13th
Breakfast at the Blue Tree Hotel . . .
10.30AM—Depart for spiritual points of interest in the nation’s capital . . . the Brazilian National Catholic Cathedral . . . Don Bosco Temple . . . and then Spettus Churrascaria for lunch.

A churrascaria (shoo-HOSS-ka-REE-ah) is a Brazilian or Portuguese steakhouse. Churrasco is the cooking style, which translates roughly from the Portuguese for 'barbecue'. However, in order to avoid confusion, it is important to state that in the rest of South America other than Brazil, the 'barbecue' method of cooking meat is known as asado.

Distinctly a South American style rotisserie, it owes its origins to the fireside roasts of the gaúchos of southern Brazil traditionally from the Pampa region, centuries ago. In modern restaurants, rodizio service is typically offered. Servers come to your table with knives and a skewer, on which are speared various kinds of meat, be it beef, pork, filet mignon, lamb, chicken, duck, ham (and pineapple), sausage, fish, or any other sort of local cut of meat.

In most parts of Brazil, the churrasco is roasted with charcoal. In the south of Brazil, however, mostly close to the borders of Argentina and Uruguay, embers of wood are also used.

In many parts of North America, churrascarias are alternatively known as "Ten Different Meats," regardless of whether or not the particular churrascaria serves precisely ten varieties of meat.

. . . then it is on to the Temple of Good Will and Abadiania . . . upon arrival in this small, rural Brazilian town, check into your room at the Hotel San Raphael and enjoy dinner at Pousada Amazonas . . .

Package de Saude:
At the Blue Tree is 1.5 litres of Casa Holy Water. At the Pousada there is 5 litres of water, 0.5 litres the Book of Prayers in English and we supply unlimited organic free range happy chicken eggs for the group.
Total cost for this is R20.

Words of the Day - Hello-Ola, Hi-Oi, Goodbye-Tchau.
Sim (pronounced seng) Açucar – without sugar
Tips of the Day – Have your American Dollars ready to change to Brazilian Reals at lunch, try the watermelon juice and save room for the dessert tray.

Tuesday, November 14th
7-9AM Breakfast at the Hotel . . . after breakfast, a tour of the Casa de Dom Inacio with Adrienne and a trip to the sacred waterfall . . .
11:30-1:30 is lunch.
. . . followed by an afternoon of free time for crystal beds, meditation and prayer at the Casa gardens or veranda, a smoothy at Frutti’s, a nature hike, a massage, shopping, resting, exploring, or a Brazilian coffee at the Pizzaria (officially called Cafe Sao Joao – or Cafe St. John - not John of God, the medium is not a saint, this John is John the Baptist).
5:30PM group meditation and “check in” upstairs in backroom of Hotel San Raphael

6:30PM Dinner

7PM Casa Orientation

* write down your headline healing requests (up to three) for the entity.

Words of the day – Please – por favor, Banheiro – bathroom, Ovos – eggs,
Fried – frito, over easy – molhe, scrambled -- misturado

Tips of the day – Remember why you have come to Brazil. Spend as much time as possible at the Casa and spend time in silence and solitude each day.
Socializing and exploring are fun, too.
If you need anything done, anything . . . first check with Joao Antonio at the front desk of Amazonas. He speaks excellent English and he works from 2PM-10PM Sunday through Friday.

If you want to help care for the people recovering from surgery (taking meals to their rooms, etc.), volunteer with Adrienne – she’ll assign each person a “recovery buddy”.

Wednesday, November 15th
7AM – Breakfast at Hotel San Raphael

7:45AM – First Casa day to go through the line to see John of God . . . get your healing requests translated to Portuguese . . . Meditation and silence in the hall until your line (first or second time) goes by the entity.

After the morning session approximately 10AM -- Blessed Soup

Noon—Lunch

1:50 PM – Doors to current close at 2PM . . . on the first afternoon you will be either “sitting in current”, having a spiritual surgery, or going through the “2 o’clock line”.

6:30 to 8 PM -- Dinner.

Words of the day – “You’re welcome” – de nada, “sorry” – desculpa.
Tip of the day – Keep lots of blessed water (available at the Casa gift shop) in your room for internal and external use.

Thursday, November 16th
Spiritual surgery recovery people are resting all day in their rooms.
Meals and soup will be brought to them.

7AM – Breakfast
7:50 AM Day Two at the Casa de Dom Inacio. Sit in Current. (Many people realize how important the opportunity to Sit in Current is as their time in Abadiania is coming to a close. Sitting in Current, in silence with your eyes closed for two plus hours can be difficult so Sit in Current.) Door closes at 8AM.

Approximately 10:30AM Blessed Soup (2 lines)

11:30AM- 1:30PM Lunch at Pousada Amazonas

1:50PM - Afternoon session at the Casa. If you are not recovering from surgery, Sit in Current.

5:30 PM – group meditation and check in (upstairs San Raphael)

6:30 PM – dinner at Pousada Amazonas

Words of the Day - Bonita/o – beautiful, Lindo/a – great, beautiful, amazing,
Gostosa/o – delicious
Tips of the Day - Take the blessed water at the end of each “sitting in current” session.
Also, remember to take your grapefruit seed extract at the first signs
of gastro-intestinal distress. Keep surrendering to your process and letting go of your urge to compare your healing journey to that of others.

Entity approved and assisted massages with Robert are available by appointment at a cost of R100 or US$50.
The Itinerary for Friday through Tuesday will be given out at the group check in Thursday night. Monday will be an optional trip to the beautiful nature preserve “VagoFogo”.
Actually, everything on these itineraries is “optional”.
Take care of yourself, make your own choices, it is a Free Will/Free Choice
Universe.

The Tyranny of Expectation

2006-11-09T15:06:00.000-07:00

March 2006 The Start of My Trip to Brazil

You don't know what you don't know.
Last night I heard a couple talk about their healing journey of 10+ years with John of God.

Two things they said eally stuck with me.
Change is hard . . .
and you cannot judge what you do not know.

I see people coming here with a big expectation of healing and at the first sign of the experience not meeting their expectations or when they don't understand something . . . they get dissappointed and judge the healing as "not working".

What's the hurry?
Relax.
Relax into the healing, into your life.